Sardar ji aur Helmet

Ek baar ek Sardar ji Bike par ja rahe the aur helmat pehn rakha tha. Raste main bike rok kar helmet k upper se hi apna sir khujane lage...
Ek aadmi ne kaha Sardar ji helmet to utar do.
Sardar G : Saale Behnchod, Jab teri Gaand main khujli hoti hai to kya to pant khol kar khujata hai....

Sardar ji aur Kabootar

Girl: molvi sab i m in love.
Molvi: Nauzubilah, Astagfirula, Laholwala kuwat, Toba, Toba........ .Girl: No molvi sab......... ..I am in love with u.........Molvi: MashaAllah, JazakAllah, SubanAllah, Whaa, Whaa........

Teen Dost

There were three fast friends...a Pandit, a Baniya and a Jaat. Teenonke sab kuchh saath saath hi hua -- schooling, college, yahan tak kishaadi bhi -- halanki hui alag alag ladkiyon se. Teenon honeymoon bhisaath saath hi gaye...aur ek hi hotel main stay karenge. So, hotelmain pahunchane ke baad, teenon apne rooms main jaane se pahle mileaur decide kiya ki subah ko breakfast table par ek doosre ko batayengeki kisne kitni baar kiya. Par samasya thi ki apni patniyon ke saamnekaise is bare main baat karenge. Par teenon bahut smart the, jaldi hisolution bhi dhoondh liya, ki jo jitne baar bread par butter lagayegato uska matlab hoga ki usne utni baar sex kiya. Aur teenon apne apneroom main chale gaye.Subah teenon mile...breakfast table par...teenon ki wives bhi thi. Topahle Pandit ne apni bread uthai, aur butter lagaya...ek baar...dobaar... aur wapas plate main rakh di. Phir Baniye ne apni breaduthai... butter lagaya... ek baar... do baar... phir bread ko palta...phir butter lagaya... ek ... do. Matlab, do baar donon taraf sethoka... Ab baari thi Jaat ki. Usne apni bread uthai...butterlagaya... ek ... do baar ... use palta ... ek baar butter lagaya ...do baar ... Phir Pandit ki bread uthai... donon taraf butter lagayaaur rakh di ... phir baniye ki bread uthai ... aur use bhi donon tarafbutter laga diya ...Aur dosti khatam...

Lun ya Ghotna

Ek bar ek sadhu maharaj Parvachan kar rahe the k Apne se Badi Aurat ko Maa, Chhoti ko Beti aur Barabar wali ko Behn Samjho. Issi beech ek Sardar ji uth kar bole “Maharaj ji to phir ye Lun v aap hi rakho. Jadi Booti Kootne ke Kaam Aayega.

Baby Names in Bihari Style.....

A MAN WAS WORKING IN MUMBAI, AND DID NOT MEET HISwife for four (4) years while his wife was in Patna (Bihar).At the end of 4 years he distributed sweets to hiscolleagues in office stating that his wife had delivered a son.His colleagues were quite shocked and they asked how this "Happyevent" happened when he had not seen his wife for four years...The man said it is common in Bihar that neighbours take care of thewife (good Samaritans) when men are away.The colleagues asked him, "What name will you give to the son?"The man explained, "If its the second neighbor who has takencare,then the name would be "DWIVEDI";If it is the third neighbor then it wouldbe "TRIVEDI",If it is the fourth neighbor then itwould be "CHATURVEDI" ;If its the fifth neighbor then it wouldbe "PANDEY"...After listening to this, questions followed.What if it is a mixture of neighbours?"Then the boy would be named "MISHRA"...And what if the wife is too shy to tellthe name of the neighbour?Then it would be "SHARMA"...But what if she refuses to divulge thename of the neighbour?Then the name of the child would be "GUPTA"...If she does not remember the name then?"It is YAAD-AV"But who knows whether the child resultedfrom a rape?Then it will be named "DOSHI"...Finally, if the child happened becauseof wife's burning desire?Then he will be named "JOSHI"...And if the whole country had made effortsfor the happy arrival?...."DESHPANDEY. "

Ek Badshah aur Gandu K Story

Ek baadshah yeh elaan kerta hai k main apni beti ke shadi us larky saykaroon gaa jo sab say ziyada gand maar sakky to her koee aata haitrial per koee 1 lakree koee 2 lakryan or koee 3 lakryan or max 15lakryan tak chood leta hai per her koee 15 lakryan choodny k baad hekhattam ho jata hai dour kaheen kise village main ek gando rehta thajo bahaut bara choudo tha jab bhe daikhoo yehe kehta tha"k is ko chood doon gaa us koo chood doon gaa, is kee gand maar doongaa us kee gand maar doon gaa"to loog badshah tak us ke bateen pohouncha daity hainbaadshah bara impress hota hai or us ko apny darbaar paar bula letahai wo banda jab darbaar main enter hota hai to yehe baten kerta hotahai k "is ko chood doon gaa us koo chood doon gaa is kee gand maardoon gaa us kee gand maar doon gaa".Badshah bara heraan hota hai or begher kise test k uss ke shadi apnibeti say ker deta hai ab suhaag raat aa jate hai to wo apny kamry kdooor ko zour say dhakka de ker enter hota hai or aaty he bashan denashuru ker deta hai k "is ko chood doon gaa us koo chood doon gaa iskee gand maar doon gaa us kee gand maar doon gaa".Shehzaadi pehly to sunte rehte hai phir tang aa ker apni phuddi ketaraf ishara ker k kehtee hai K is ko koun choody gaa to wo bandamiskeen shakal bana ker kehta hai"K SARKAAR HUM TO BUS BAATEN CHOODTE HAIN "

Some Dirty Jokes

Suhag rat thi. Sas ne derwaza zor s bazaya. Dulhan bhag ker perde ke peche chup gaye. Sas k jane k bad huby bola: tum dari kion, ami thi,dulhan: Oh ! ma samjhi chapa per gaya.-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Pathan 1 ghante s pregnant aurot to chod raha tha. Aurat: ab bas karo mujhe dard ho raha ha. Pathan: chup hilo nahin, mujhe bache k gand nahin nahi mil rahe-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------1 sardar apni bhen ki room ma gaya waha osko plastic ka lund mila, who dekh ker bola……………………………………………………………………………………" acha y hota ha bhen ka lora-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------James Bond was showing his new telephatic watch to a gal n say: u r not wearing a panty.Gal: I m wearing.Bond: My watch is 10 minutes ahead-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------A sardar eats Viagra daily. Friend asked: u don't have wife or gf then y u eat the Viagra daily? Sardar: Bus wase hi underwear ma ronak lagi rehti ha.-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------1 Hindu n Muslim s pocha: Tum log khatna kion kerte ho.Muslim ko samaj nahi aya or bola: bas wase hi khobsorti ajati ha-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------BV: ao jee, bohat serdi lag rahe ha.Huby: Pata ha (phir guse se bola) hamari aurtain chodwane se nahi ...............................nahane se ghabrati hain-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Today is international disadvantaged people day. Please send an encouraging message to a retarded friend just as I've done, I don't care if u lick windows, interfere with farm animals or occasionally pee on urself. U hang in there sunshine, u r fucking special-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Beti : Ma Gao ma bollywood wale ayen haen.Maa: Beti under ajaoBeti: Ma pata ha Imran Hashmi bhi aya haMaa: Beti bakri ko bhi under lele-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Suhag rat ma hakle ne kaha " A A Ao na chu chu chu "BV chadi utar ker: "Ab chum le, chod le ya chos le per chu chu na ker-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Dr: sans le…. Or lambi sans….. or lambi…………. Thori or lambi……. Suddenly sound came "khatak"Dr: Lagta ha ap ki paslo fracture haLady: stupid mere bra ka hook toth gaya ha-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Sardar bought a pressure cooker , next day he return the cooker, Shopkeeper: y r u returning it?Sardar: Gher ma jawan betian haen or ye sala setian merta ha-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------1 makrani bohat dare se 1 khobsurat lerki ko dekh raha thaLerki: kabhi lerki nahi dekhiMakrani: dekhi ha per soch raha ho, ager tum hamara ma hota to hum bhi itna khobsurat hota-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------1 admi bache ko molvi ke pass le jata ha or pochta ha ye bara ho ker kia bane ga. Molvi oske samne 1 book, 1 sharab k bottle or 1000$ rakhta ha, bacha tino cheze le leta ha. Molvi preshan hota ha, sochta ha or phir kehta ha " ye bara ho kar Maulana Fazlur Rehman bane ga-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Police ko 1 body mili ha, kalay dant hain, ghonslay jaese bal haen, dimag nahi ha, pao ulte haen, mujhe tumhari fikr horahi ha, zara miss call to marna-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Dil ka dard hamey batate kion nahi,Dosti ka haq hum pe jatate kion nahi,Mar jao gey aese hi zor laga ker, Qabz hai to HASHMI churan khate kiun nahi