Lun ya Ghotna

Ek bar ek sadhu maharaj Parvachan kar rahe the k Apne se Badi Aurat ko Maa, Chhoti ko Beti aur Barabar wali ko Behn Samjho. Issi beech ek Sardar ji uth kar bole “Maharaj ji to phir ye Lun v aap hi rakho. Jadi Booti Kootne ke Kaam Aayega.

Baby Names in Bihari Style.....

A MAN WAS WORKING IN MUMBAI, AND DID NOT MEET HISwife for four (4) years while his wife was in Patna (Bihar).At the end of 4 years he distributed sweets to hiscolleagues in office stating that his wife had delivered a son.His colleagues were quite shocked and they asked how this "Happyevent" happened when he had not seen his wife for four years...The man said it is common in Bihar that neighbours take care of thewife (good Samaritans) when men are away.The colleagues asked him, "What name will you give to the son?"The man explained, "If its the second neighbor who has takencare,then the name would be "DWIVEDI";If it is the third neighbor then it wouldbe "TRIVEDI",If it is the fourth neighbor then itwould be "CHATURVEDI" ;If its the fifth neighbor then it wouldbe "PANDEY"...After listening to this, questions followed.What if it is a mixture of neighbours?"Then the boy would be named "MISHRA"...And what if the wife is too shy to tellthe name of the neighbour?Then it would be "SHARMA"...But what if she refuses to divulge thename of the neighbour?Then the name of the child would be "GUPTA"...If she does not remember the name then?"It is YAAD-AV"But who knows whether the child resultedfrom a rape?Then it will be named "DOSHI"...Finally, if the child happened becauseof wife's burning desire?Then he will be named "JOSHI"...And if the whole country had made effortsfor the happy arrival?...."DESHPANDEY. "

Ek Badshah aur Gandu K Story

Ek baadshah yeh elaan kerta hai k main apni beti ke shadi us larky saykaroon gaa jo sab say ziyada gand maar sakky to her koee aata haitrial per koee 1 lakree koee 2 lakryan or koee 3 lakryan or max 15lakryan tak chood leta hai per her koee 15 lakryan choodny k baad hekhattam ho jata hai dour kaheen kise village main ek gando rehta thajo bahaut bara choudo tha jab bhe daikhoo yehe kehta tha"k is ko chood doon gaa us koo chood doon gaa, is kee gand maar doongaa us kee gand maar doon gaa"to loog badshah tak us ke bateen pohouncha daity hainbaadshah bara impress hota hai or us ko apny darbaar paar bula letahai wo banda jab darbaar main enter hota hai to yehe baten kerta hotahai k "is ko chood doon gaa us koo chood doon gaa is kee gand maardoon gaa us kee gand maar doon gaa".Badshah bara heraan hota hai or begher kise test k uss ke shadi apnibeti say ker deta hai ab suhaag raat aa jate hai to wo apny kamry kdooor ko zour say dhakka de ker enter hota hai or aaty he bashan denashuru ker deta hai k "is ko chood doon gaa us koo chood doon gaa iskee gand maar doon gaa us kee gand maar doon gaa".Shehzaadi pehly to sunte rehte hai phir tang aa ker apni phuddi ketaraf ishara ker k kehtee hai K is ko koun choody gaa to wo bandamiskeen shakal bana ker kehta hai"K SARKAAR HUM TO BUS BAATEN CHOODTE HAIN "

Some Dirty Jokes

Suhag rat thi. Sas ne derwaza zor s bazaya. Dulhan bhag ker perde ke peche chup gaye. Sas k jane k bad huby bola: tum dari kion, ami thi,dulhan: Oh ! ma samjhi chapa per gaya.-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Pathan 1 ghante s pregnant aurot to chod raha tha. Aurat: ab bas karo mujhe dard ho raha ha. Pathan: chup hilo nahin, mujhe bache k gand nahin nahi mil rahe-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------1 sardar apni bhen ki room ma gaya waha osko plastic ka lund mila, who dekh ker bola……………………………………………………………………………………" acha y hota ha bhen ka lora-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------James Bond was showing his new telephatic watch to a gal n say: u r not wearing a panty.Gal: I m wearing.Bond: My watch is 10 minutes ahead-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------A sardar eats Viagra daily. Friend asked: u don't have wife or gf then y u eat the Viagra daily? Sardar: Bus wase hi underwear ma ronak lagi rehti ha.-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------1 Hindu n Muslim s pocha: Tum log khatna kion kerte ho.Muslim ko samaj nahi aya or bola: bas wase hi khobsorti ajati ha-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------BV: ao jee, bohat serdi lag rahe ha.Huby: Pata ha (phir guse se bola) hamari aurtain chodwane se nahi ...............................nahane se ghabrati hain-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Today is international disadvantaged people day. Please send an encouraging message to a retarded friend just as I've done, I don't care if u lick windows, interfere with farm animals or occasionally pee on urself. U hang in there sunshine, u r fucking special-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Beti : Ma Gao ma bollywood wale ayen haen.Maa: Beti under ajaoBeti: Ma pata ha Imran Hashmi bhi aya haMaa: Beti bakri ko bhi under lele-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Suhag rat ma hakle ne kaha " A A Ao na chu chu chu "BV chadi utar ker: "Ab chum le, chod le ya chos le per chu chu na ker-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Dr: sans le…. Or lambi sans….. or lambi…………. Thori or lambi……. Suddenly sound came "khatak"Dr: Lagta ha ap ki paslo fracture haLady: stupid mere bra ka hook toth gaya ha-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Sardar bought a pressure cooker , next day he return the cooker, Shopkeeper: y r u returning it?Sardar: Gher ma jawan betian haen or ye sala setian merta ha-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------1 makrani bohat dare se 1 khobsurat lerki ko dekh raha thaLerki: kabhi lerki nahi dekhiMakrani: dekhi ha per soch raha ho, ager tum hamara ma hota to hum bhi itna khobsurat hota-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------1 admi bache ko molvi ke pass le jata ha or pochta ha ye bara ho ker kia bane ga. Molvi oske samne 1 book, 1 sharab k bottle or 1000$ rakhta ha, bacha tino cheze le leta ha. Molvi preshan hota ha, sochta ha or phir kehta ha " ye bara ho kar Maulana Fazlur Rehman bane ga-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Police ko 1 body mili ha, kalay dant hain, ghonslay jaese bal haen, dimag nahi ha, pao ulte haen, mujhe tumhari fikr horahi ha, zara miss call to marna-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------Dil ka dard hamey batate kion nahi,Dosti ka haq hum pe jatate kion nahi,Mar jao gey aese hi zor laga ker, Qabz hai to HASHMI churan khate kiun nahi

Help! Help!! Mere Lun Ka Accident Ho Haya...

Yesterday my LUN had an accident wid a PHUDDI& admitted to CHOOT hospital near TOPA chowk.Dr TATTA said : matter is serious GAND needed.So plz donate ur GAND.........

Laloo in Microsoft

Laloo Prasad sent his Bio Data - to apply for a post in Microsoft Corporation, USA. A few days later he got this reply -Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad,You do not meet our requirements. Please do not send any further correspondence. No phone call shall be entertained.ThanksBill Gates.Laloo prasad jumped with joy on receiving this reply. He arranged a party and when all the guests had come, he said: Bhaiyo aur Behnoo, aap ko jaan kar khushi hogi k hum ko America mein naukri mil gayee hay. Everyone was delighted.Laloo prasad continued... Ab main aap sab ko apna appointment letter phar kar sunaoon gaa - par letter angreeze main hay – is liye. (Translation) ... Dear Mr. Laloo Prasad ..... Pyare Laloo prasad bhaiyya, You do not meet —— aap to miltay hee naheen ho. our requirement —— humko zaroorat hai. Please do not send any furthur correspondance —— Letter vetter bhaij ne ka koouno zaroorat nahee. No phone call —— phoonwa ka bhee zaroorat nahee hai. shall be entertained —— bahut khaatir kee jaye gi.Thanks —— aapkaa bahut bahut dhanyavad.Bill Gates —— Bilva.

Ganpat Rai OR Gaand Phat Rahi Part -2

Col. Smith: Gand fatrahai!!Ganpatrai : Ji maalik.Col. Smith: Aaj tum ko 3 kaam karnee kaa haaiGanpatrai : Hukum SarkaarCol. Smith: Tum pehla hamaari beti ko chodenga (drop her off)...baad mein hamaari biwi ko chodenga...aur uske baad mein hum ko chodenga.Ganpatrai : Maaf karna Sarkaar, tumhari biwi aur beti to theek hai, lekin main aap ko nahi choddh sakta.Col.Smith: Gand fatrahai! Tum ko hum ko chodnaa padhega.Ganpatrai : Nahi sarkaar aisa zulum naa kare.Col. Smith: Gand fatrahai, agar tum hum ko nahi chod sakta to hum tumko nokri se nikaal denga. Ganpatrai : Theek hai sarkaar ....jo hukum. After a few days There is no one exceptCol.Smith’swife at home. She is alone in her bedroom.While wearing her bra she is unable to Tie the knot behind.So......Wife : Gand fatrahai, idhar aaoo?Ganpatrai : Ji Maalkin.Wife : Gand fatrahai, hammara peeche se gaand maaro (gaanth maro-tie the bra knot). Ganpatrai : Yeh kya keh rahi hai Maalkin??Wife : Gand fatrahai, jaldi se gaand maaro hum ko late hota hai.Ganpatrai : Nahi Nahi Maalkin. Agar maine aisa kiya to hum ko sarkar kacha kha jayenge.Wife : Gand fatrahai, agar tumne jaldi se hamari gaand nahi maari to hum tumko kacha kha jaayengi.Ganpatrai : Theek hai maalkin. Jo hukum. Ganpatrai who has been frustrated by these Brits for a long time starts like a bull. Panic striken the wife tries to turn and shouts :Wife : GAND FATRAHAI, GAND FATRAHAI, GAND FATRAHAI !!! Ganpatrai :Memsaab...Gaand maarega to Gaand to phatega hiiiiiiiiiii

Ganpat Rai OR Gaand Phat Rahi Part-1

An Bihari GANPAT-RAI (who really needs a job) is being interviewed by Britisher, Colonel Smith.Col.Smith: Haan toh Gaand Fat rahai (Ganpat-Rai) !!Bihari: Nahi sir, jyada nahi!!Col. Smith: Kya ‘jyada nahi’ bolta hai, tumhara application me likha Hua hai Gand fat rahai.Bihari : Theekh hai mai baap, likha hai to fat raha hoga.Col. Smith: Tum Daily marata hai (tum delhi me rahta hai)??Bihari : Nahi sir, kabhi kabhi!!Col. Smith: Gand fatrahai, idhar aaoo, kya ‘kabhi kabhi’ bolta hai? Tumhara application mein likha hua hai ki tum Daily marata hai.Bihari : Theek hai mai bap, likha hai to marta honga.The Bihari was employed on one condition that he will do whatever Col.Smith’s family asks him to do.
Contd...........

Who kills the Loin????

A 80 yrs old man to dr : meri 20 saal ki wife pregnant hai.dr : 1 story suno1 shikari shikar pe jate huye jaldi mein gun ki jaga umbrella le gaya. Jungle mein uske samne lion aa gaya. Usne umbrella ka handle khaincha aur fire kar diya aur lion mar gya.Old man : impossible........... kisi aur ne mara hoga.
dr : exactly ;-)